Moving out!

I'm sitting here in my apartment breaking off pieces of Trader Joe's almond windmill cookies and eating them as I chug my evening cup of joe. I have a rule- Don't drink coffee after 6pm. What time is it? 6:30pm. Isn't annoying when you know you're going against what's right and you're going to later regret your decision, but you decide to do it anyways? I feel great now. Just moments ago I was drifting away into a nap while listening to "Adele" radio on Pandora, so peaceful, and now I'm all jacked up on coffee, typing unnecessary letters and constantly backspacing my spastic CAPS LOCK moments in this blog that has no purpose, no title, no subject, no moral, no organization. I was hoping that once I started, I'd organize my thoughts, find my focus and write about something that may be useful to others, but I'm feeling pretty selfish right now and I think I'm just going to talk about me. This IS what I do best. ;D

Let's start with- Apartment Living.
Here's the story: My mom has been threatening to charge me rent since I learned how to spell my first and last name. She's always wanted to slowly teach me what it was like to be an adult. This meant doing my own laundry when I was old enough to reach the washer, making my own pb&js when I grew strong enough to open the jelly and paying rent when I became wealthy enough to afford it. As much as I resent all of these things she did (or...stopped doing) to make me independent, I guess it worked. There, I said it dammit. I'll forever resent her but also thank her because since she didn't suffocate me, I've been able to become my own person and grow to be confident that I can conquer any task in front of me. Back to the rent thing- She said she wasn't going to charge me while I was still in school. What did that mean? I had 4 years of freeloading after high school before she'd become my landlord. Well, somewhere along the way that changed and she decided to start charging me early. I managed to "pay rent" by purchasing groceries for the house or finding a way to establish a line of credit with her. Eventually, most likely when she realized how much food I was actually eating, the groceries weren't enough. So, then came the bills. The weekly bills. The emails. The excel spreadsheets. The arguments. The complexity of it all was the true burden. I didn't really care about the small chunk of cash I had to pay- I knew I was getting a good deal. So after a year of paying rent at our agreed rate she throws a little small print in my December email (January-new rate. To be determined). Seriously, I had to read it 3 times before I caught that. So I told her to let me know what the rate would be and I'd start looking for apartments. Soooo dramatic, I know... Really, I had already been looking, but I was afraid to say it out loud to the world because just like zappos.com and wheat thins, I get INSANELY overwhelmed with choices and decisions and will not openly face something until I know I have the time and brainpower to tackle it. I know I'm capable of weeding through my thoughts, others' advice, and the information offered to me online and in ads, but it wasn't going to happen until I had 1)a low volume recovery week in my workout schedule and 2)a day off.

When the email, excel spreadsheet, argument came with the new rental rate for my bedroom I have lived in for the last 22 years I decided it really was time to go. My goal-get out before she sent me the next bill. At one point when she saw how rushed I was to move, she asked if I was trying to avoid paying. Yes. Duh. So the "official" search began. I looked on websites like rent.com and apartment finder. I used my iphone to zoom in the area I wanted to move to, and searched "apartments" and wrote down the names of the ones closest to my prefer ed location.
(Sidenote: I just stopped eating the cookies I was eating 3 paragraphs ago) I scheduled two days to simply go out and view apartments. I'm not gonna lie, I just didn't have time for bullshit. So, when I talked with the people I brought up any of the bad things I had read on the reviews and gave them a chance to explain. Here's the thing- I blame myself for any bad decision I make (just like how I'll blame myself when I'm wide awake at midnight for drinking that coffee). So, if i ended up signing a lease with a scumbag lease agent and got financially screwed, I would blame myself because you know it's always in the fine print. And in these types of situations it truly is always your fault. It's unfortunate that people try to mislead you, but it's up to you to protect yourself. (I'm uncomfortable with how I went from talking about "me" and ended with talking about "you" but I'm too lazy to edit. Jus' deal.)
After viewing about 17 places (5 of which I drove up to and drove away), I let it simmer for a while. There was the "too good to be true one" and "the one that felt right". A friend told me the
"too good to be true" place was "ghetto" and apparently that simple statement was enough to clear my clouded eyes and see that it truly was-too good to be true. I ended up choosing "the one that felt right". It was 13 minutes from work. 15 minutes from my parents and 10 minutes from my sister, 30 seconds from the bike path and 5 minutes from swim (again, thank you iphone maps). I emailed the lady, sent in my app, reserved a uhaul and had soon agreed to a move in date. Both of my brothers, my dad and my mom took the day off of work and had me moved in in less than 2 hours.
Just like that. Quick, easy, simple. This moment, the one that just flew by-yeah, that moment, is supposed to be BIG and it came and went in just a few hours!

Now that I am on my own, I constantly learning more and more about myself and turning every repeated action into a statistic. It took 8 days to go through a roll of toilet paper. It has been 16 days and I still haven't used an entire roll of paper towel. I eat approximately 8 giant bowls of cereal a week but it takes me 9 days to go through a gallon of milk.
More observations:

• I typically need a nap on Sunday nights.
• I take bubble baths every other day.
• I really like to walk around naked or semi-naked.
• I love to cook and am finally using recipes I printed off years ago.
• I also love to feed people but fear that I may be a food pusher and would feel terrible if I made anyone gain weight.
• When faced with the decision at the grocery store- ice cream or no ice cream. Answer is always ice cream.
• I still don't think I could live with someone else.
• I like to have company but I also enjoy being alone.
• I have learned to eat my groceries on a "first to expire" basis. I don't want to waste.
• I eat more bananas when multigrain cheerios are in the house.
• I play a game- "what is my neighbor cooking for dinner" and it pretty much drives me crazy that I'll never know if my guess is right or not.
• Every time I walk into my apartment door, I think I'm going to find everything gone-stolen. I feel relieved when I see that it's still there. I think this feeling will subside eventually.
• My carport neighbor has "the club" on their steering wheel. First thought-that's sooo 1990's. No one wants your neon. A few days later- Hmmm...do I need "the club"?
• I drink more. A glass of relaxation is not a sin.
• Since I don't have cable, I no longer watch The Real Housewives of (fill in rich city here). I feel like I am a better person because of it.
• I have to go down 2 (mini) flights of stairs to get to the laundry room. I was a little upset that I had to make this trip until I changed my attitude and realized it's actually less distance than what I used to travel from my room to the basement in my parent's house.
• Speaking of laundry, I'm on a mission to perfectly time the washer and the dryer. 1st experience: Washer is less than 30 minutes. Dryer is more than 30 minutes. 2nd: Washer is less than 27 minutes, Dryer is more than 40. I will figure this out.
• I used to be extremely negative when cleaning toilets but found comfort in knowing that I wasn't cleaning up after anyone else.
• I can't wait to ask "your place or mine?" with a wink afterwards. ;) (jk...kinda)

I just went back a read my post. You know that cognitive dissonance you feel when you attempt to view yourself from an outsider's perspective and realize you sound completely crazy but at the same time are forced to accept that crazy might actually be a fitting description of who you really are? Felt that.

I guess this post did end up having some type of theme. I am finally free! I'm proud to say that I was more than ready and prepared to live on my own. Life is actually easier and just when I thought I couldn't become any more satisfied with my life, I'm happier.